• News

    Extra mural

    A cruel individual from this organization once told me that reading this weekly newsletter was as exciting as watching paint dry. I would have been offended if it wasn’t for the fact that it gave me an entirely spurious opening paragraph to another stultifyingly ungratifying edition. You see, for the past few months, two kind and giving Bay Ridge CSA members  – Natasha Mottola and Andy Issermoyer – have been painting some special murals at our pickup location at the Fourth Avenue Presbyterian Church of Brooklyn. After seeing decades-old graffiti on the walls around the garden of the church while volunteering at the CSA, high school art teacher Andy talked…

  • News

    Better together

    All too often in this day and age, we seem to spend our time talking about things and people splitting up. Band members decide that ‘musical differences’ have driven a wedge between them and their former colleagues, couples decree that they can no longer be together because of one person’s refusal to put socks in the laundry basket, and companies jettison their leaders for indiscretions such as a frankly regrettable incident with a small mountain goat. This week, we even faced the prospect of one ancient institution attempting to seek independence from another. No, I’m not talking about the time that David decided to shave his facial hair, before you…

  • News

    A question of trust

    Trust is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? It’s hard to explain the feeling you get when you have been promised something, and then you realize it’s all been a pack of lies all along. Like the time I was told that England would win the World Cup. Or that Desperate Housewives of Secaucus would be a worthy and thought-provoking watch. And the less said about the butt-toning shoes I bought a few years ago, the better. The problem is that we have to take the information that we get at face value. So when I tell my wife that hi-tech looking piece of geeky kit that she sees on the…

  • News

    Feed Bay Ridge

    According to recent reports, California is being forced to increase the amount of money it pumps into water recycling, as it faces its third serious drought in as many years. While some Californians have apparently been turning up their noses at the prospect of so-called ‘toilet-to-tap’ processing, most people recognize that it’s a necessary response to a fundamental lack of water in the area. Of course, lack of water is not such a problem here in New York, despite heat that causes this poor forsaken Brit to patent a new way of walking that involves no movement of any limbs. The Bay Ridge Shuffle, as history will come to describe…

  • News

    Don’t just bore us, get to the chorus

    Everyone has their own Friday night routines. Some people watch a movie and order dubiously sourced chicken fingers to be delivered to their house. Some meet for Happy Hour after work, and wake up the next morning fully clothed and with a vague taste of tequila and teriyaki in their mouth. Others just head out on the highway, looking for adventure, and – you know – whatever comes their way. For me, Friday night is dedicated to the writing of a hilariously offbeat blog post (according to judges at the CSA Bloggers Awards in 1977) informing Bay Ridge CSA members of what vegetables they will be receiving the next day.…

  • News

    Take me to the CSA ballgame

    Ah, the balmy days of summer, when there is nothing more glorious to do of a Friday evening than to head to the ballgame, grab a beer, and put the world to rights. It’s a little known fact though that the stats that govern the baseball have long been used to govern the world of CSAs. Fortunately, the Big Bosses at the Bay Ridge CSA have given me special dispensation to share with you the secret shadowy statistics that form the backbone of our esteemed organization. Read them well and learn, my friends. GS – Grand Slam (or in CSA speak, “average number of Garlic Scapes served up to members…

  • News

    Different strokes

    Growing older is a strange thing. I’m not talking about the strange single long hairs that suddenly start to spurt out of your eyebrows (or worse still, your nostril) at a much greater rate than any other. Or the odd grunts that you find yourself emitting at particularly strenuous moments, such as – you know – standing up. Or even the fact that you start to wax lyrical about things that you never used to like, just because they were around when you were younger. Like ‘Kate & Allie’, or ‘Max Headroom’. No, I’m just talking about how your attitude changes in general, the older we get. And in particular,…

  • News

    Happy sausage on a stick day!

    Ah, the 4th of July. It’s always been a difficult one for me to be honest. After all, when I was a kid growing up in the UK, we just used to call it Friday. If, you know, it was a Friday. Apart from when we spoke to Americans, when we used to have to pretend that we were in mourning for the loss of our colony south of Canada. Fast forward a few years, and I suddenly found myself living in the self-styled Greatest Country On Earth (TM), and suddenly July 4th had a great deal more meaning. By which I mean that it was now a Friday that…

  • News

    Sleeping on the job

    The great thing about the Bay Ridge CSA is that the community is so eclectic. Whether you’re Democratic or Republican, rich or poor, a food lover or just a food eater, there’s room for everybody within the confines of the group. And the fact is that from the toddler who helps pick her mother or father select the vegetables at the pick-up, through to the more elderly member who joined the CSA because the vegetables taste more like they did when he was a kid, the CSA is open to everybody of all ages. All of this got me to wondering about the average Friday night of the CSA member…

  • News

    The best things come to those who wait

    They say that the best things come to those who wait. To be brutally honest, I have no idea who ‘they’ are (though my money’s on the big bosses from the Bay Ridge CSA), or indeed why ‘they’ always have to speak in such alarmingly clichéd ways. But say it they do. Personally I am not sure they are even right. After all, I waited for four years for Veronica Dribblethwaite from third grade, and then moments after she told me that I could share her PB&J, I watched her run off to play tag with some kid with a minor hygiene problem and a penchant for eating mud. I’ve…